What do a German virgin and a gay waiter have in common? Apart from the obvious sexual connotations, or lack thereof, both feature prominently in one of the fastest growing games known to man – online poker, Texas Hold’em in particular!
Over the years, cards, or a combination of cards, have been christened with some pretty outlandish nicknames and poker newbies will be sorely tested – not only to learn the finer points of poker strategy and gamesmanship, but to be familiar with an entire vocabulary of odd, but oft times rather brilliant names!
Initially the exclusive domain of the testosterone tribe, women, in an entire range of guises – both attractive and not so sassy – have leant their curvaceous appeal to some of the cards.
AK – Anna Kournikova
The gorgeous, yet WTA title bereft, Russian tennis ‘tsar’ (we can’t really say ‘star’), Anna Kournikova, has had her name etched into the annals of history, not as a grand slam dominatrix, but rather as the overwhelmingly favourite handle for Ace/ King – in a couple of pert words – looks darn pretty, but never wins!
38 – Raquel Welch
Golden Globe winning actress and the woman Playboy Magazine tagged as ‘the most desirable’ of her era, the sublimely sexy Raquel Welch, has also made it into the poker caste and for good reason. An entire generation of men have puffed and panted over Raquel’s perfect physique and it seems fitting her bust size be remembered for time immemorial, or every time a poker aficionado collects a 3 and an 8, in any event!
95 – Dolly Parton
Big-busted country music star, Dolly Parton, has made it into poker lingo but oddly enough it is not the size of her breasts that has propelled her into the card-playing lexis but rather her box office blockbuster movie, 9 to 5.
88 – Two Fat Ladies
Then there are the celeb chefs, Clarissa Dickson Wright and Jennifer Paterson, who clearly take their profession to heart and hip. The women, who host the hit TV show, The Two Fat Ladies, are uber-large but precociously talented with both pot and pan. They have leant their enormous appeal and outsize extremities to the poker hand 8/8 – Two fat ladies!
99 – German Virgin
One of the wittiest monikers that apply to the fairer sex is that of the svelte German with her virginity intact simply because she continues to say ‘no’ or nein, nein (9/9)!
QQ – Siegfried & Roy
The gay fraternity is also well represented in the card buff’s lexicon. The world famous duo of Siegfried and Roy, magicians and illusionists, who took Las Vegas by storm for many decades, will be remembered at the green felt tables as Queen/Queen. The men, who are arguably most famous for their inclusion of white tigers into their act, are life partners, both in business and in bed!
Q3 – Gay Waiter
But, for me, the real jewel in the crown is the nickname for Q/3 – Gay waiter – simply a Queen with a trey!
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